Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
