That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
