I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
