I can tuck mytits in my pants
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
