Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
