I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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