I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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