I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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