You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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