im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize