The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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