Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
