Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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