I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
soo... how was my night?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
