Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
