You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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