so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
