I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
