tell your sister to shave her snatch
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
