omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
