were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
