you guys were way drunker than both of me
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
