Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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