I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
