the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
