My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
