he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
dude. I can hear the air.
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