I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize