Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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