a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
