She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
