Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
