I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize