no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Randomize
