If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Bring me that man meat
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
