That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Terrible idea I love it
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
