im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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