How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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