ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
