Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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