"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
