It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
