So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
