is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
