I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I FOUND THE LEGS
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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