Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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