Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize