I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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