yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize