i think my tv is drunk
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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