i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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