she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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