Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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