Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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