It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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