gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
