she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
