Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
