I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize